Here I am with another random thought. Doing something nice for someone is "nice" - however, it is what is in your heart that matters. Do you do things for others out of obligation and then feel resentful? Are you trapped in a situation where your heart is aching because you aren't "feeling it" but still paste on the smile and fake the task? People can tell! They may appreciate the kindness, but they know when the heart is not engaged. Our hearts are on our sleeves when we do this!
I've been there. I have over-obligated myself, I've made promises that stretched me emotionally - and not in a good yoga stretch way. What I've found is that I get more pleasure out of doing random genuine nice things "just because", than I do by forcing kindness. Trying to be nice, just for the sake of others not being upset with me runs my emotional batteries down.
We do not have to be people pleasers! We can say no. Seriously, we can. I can do it, and so can you! Yes, we have our obligations - and we really should be kind to others. If we have made promises, we should keep them, and analyze why we promised to do it. We may find new love and meaning in the task. It feels so much better when that kindness comes from the heart.
Who wants to join me in unplugging from this behavior, and plugging into what our hearts desire? Test it out and let me know how this works. Try an impulsive, random act of kindness - for example, pay it forward in a drive through, or help someone who is struggling to unload their grocery cart into their car at the market (if you feel the urge.) Acknowledge how that feels. Maybe jot down a note to yourself about how you feel afterward. I'd love to hear about it.
Email or comment!