In the process of discovering who I am, I’ve spent quite a bit of time looking in the mirror. That’s an uncomfortable practice for me. I wish I learned to do this earlier in life. Now that I’m in my 50’s, I finally feel free to explore and learn about me.
Sometimes we have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable, if that makes sense. I look at the reflection and pray that I can see what God sees. I’ve always felt unattractive and tried to make up for it by people pleasing (instead of God pleasing.) I’ve spent too many years disliking the woman that stared back at me. I’ve even been known to say, “I wish I could rip my ugly face off.” Horrible, right? Hmmm. I could wallow in it and point fingers at things that happened in my past. That's easy to do.
Stomp on the brakes! I’m not going there. No more blaming the past for decisions I’ve made and situations I’ve gotten myself into. Instead, I've chosen to start loving that unique woman in the mirror. I want to know all about her, and why she looks back at me with such sad eyes.
I am in charge of how I feel. With God, all things are possible. After nearly half a decade of struggling, God, only God, has been able to heal me! I didn’t use a 12-step program, although those are helpful for many. A 1-step program did the trick for me. Step 1: Go to God! He already knows what you are going through, and will help you. Does it sound too good to be true? To easy? It is. I promise.
Isaiah 43:4. “Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you …” God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to save me before I was born. In His sight, I am honored and loved. It’s about time I started honoring and loving myself too.
Since we are talking about appearance, I’ve been considering letting my hair grow out gray. I’ve colored my hair for over 20 years. Every 4 weeks or so, I’d panic and either go buy a box of color or make an appointment at a salon. I hated seeing the little bit of natural tinsel peeking out!
Guess what? I’m finally going for it. I really don’t care to fuss over my hair. I have already given up wearing makeup except on a rare occasion. I’d rather busy myself with a craft project than worry about covering up my face and true hair color! I did seek backup, though. Emotional support was necessary to make such a drastic change and break this habit. I let friends know about my decision, and they have encouraged me. And, my new Tennessee stylist and friend has this situation all under control. Comment and let me know if you’d like to see how it is working out! And if you see me out and about, check out my new crown of glory!
Is there anything you’ve been putting off? Is there something you do that no longer serves the you that you see in the mirror today? What steps are you taking to make a positive change?
If you are like me, and have struggled with negative self-image, know that this can be conquered with prayer, journaling, and a little mirror time. I created a “negative self-talk” worksheet that may be able to help. Email me if you would like it send your way.
Blessings and hugs!
Tammy
contact@tammyarlene.com