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  • Tammy Arlene


What defines me? Who am I?


This journey of self-discovery has proven it’s value. Sharing it has kept me accountable. I am blessed that you have taken time to read my ramblings.


The most important question to ask ourselves is: “Whose am I?”

Answer: I am a blessed and highly favored child of God! Knowing this FACT changes my perspective.


I am making healthy choices, despite obstacles that are thrown my way. I am maintaining positivity, despite negative thoughts and surroundings. All of this is because I am God’s beloved, and He is mine.


Today, I decided to make a list of my old thoughts vs. new thoughts as I grow and discover who I am.


Lies: Truths:

Sickly I am a survivor following Whipple and complications

Victim I survived domestic/sexual and emotional abuse

Dependent on opinion of others I make my own choices, led by God

Depressed Happiness is my choice

Focused on the past I’ve discovered grace I’ve received, and freely give grace


The words that stand out to me are:

Survive

Godly choices

Grace.


Those all sound pretty good, considering the alternatives. I see it as sink or swim. I choose to swim.


It feels easy to focus on lies—the enemy would like us to do that.


The truth is, life is so much easier when we focus on God’s truth.


Whatever we focus on grows! If we focus on negative aspects of life, we will get more troubles and trials. I, for one, do not want any of that garbage piling up in my life. I’ve taken it out to the curb.


Let’s focus on the truth together. Water positive seeds, and see them grow into a beautiful life. Once I started focusing on the positive, I saw blessings all around. I pray you find the same.


Would making a list like this help you?


Blessings and hugs!


Tammy


contact@tammyarlene.com

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  • Tammy Arlene

Updated: Aug 2, 2022



In the process of discovering who I am, I’ve spent quite a bit of time looking in the mirror. That’s an uncomfortable practice for me. I wish I learned to do this earlier in life. Now that I’m in my 50’s, I finally feel free to explore and learn about me.


Sometimes we have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable, if that makes sense. I look at the reflection and pray that I can see what God sees. I’ve always felt unattractive and tried to make up for it by people pleasing (instead of God pleasing.) I’ve spent too many years disliking the woman that stared back at me. I’ve even been known to say, “I wish I could rip my ugly face off.” Horrible, right? Hmmm. I could wallow in it and point fingers at things that happened in my past. That's easy to do.


Stomp on the brakes! I’m not going there. No more blaming the past for decisions I’ve made and situations I’ve gotten myself into. Instead, I've chosen to start loving that unique woman in the mirror. I want to know all about her, and why she looks back at me with such sad eyes.


I am in charge of how I feel. With God, all things are possible. After nearly half a decade of struggling, God, only God, has been able to heal me! I didn’t use a 12-step program, although those are helpful for many. A 1-step program did the trick for me. Step 1: Go to God! He already knows what you are going through, and will help you. Does it sound too good to be true? To easy? It is. I promise.

Isaiah 43:4. “Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you …” God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to save me before I was born. In His sight, I am honored and loved. It’s about time I started honoring and loving myself too.


Since we are talking about appearance, I’ve been considering letting my hair grow out gray. I’ve colored my hair for over 20 years. Every 4 weeks or so, I’d panic and either go buy a box of color or make an appointment at a salon. I hated seeing the little bit of natural tinsel peeking out!


Guess what? I’m finally going for it. I really don’t care to fuss over my hair. I have already given up wearing makeup except on a rare occasion. I’d rather busy myself with a craft project than worry about covering up my face and true hair color! I did seek backup, though. Emotional support was necessary to make such a drastic change and break this habit. I let friends know about my decision, and they have encouraged me. And, my new Tennessee stylist and friend has this situation all under control. Comment and let me know if you’d like to see how it is working out! And if you see me out and about, check out my new crown of glory!


Is there anything you’ve been putting off? Is there something you do that no longer serves the you that you see in the mirror today? What steps are you taking to make a positive change?


If you are like me, and have struggled with negative self-image, know that this can be conquered with prayer, journaling, and a little mirror time. I created a “negative self-talk” worksheet that may be able to help. Email me if you would like it send your way.


Blessings and hugs!


Tammy


contact@tammyarlene.com


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  • Tammy Arlene

You can't see it from this angle. Trust me, this cup is a mess. Lumpy and pitted epoxy, stickers falling off, ridges and bubbles galore.

I am so glad I failed! Weeeeee!


Have you ever been pleased with failing at a project? Today, I am. I am more than pleased; I am ecstatic.


No, I haven’t lost my mind. Not fully, at least. I don’t think so, anyway.


Backstory:

I really thought I wanted to make epoxy tumblers. It sounded like a fantastic idea. I purchased supplies, made a mess with glitter, and wasted a few cups. I was able to make one halfway decent one, all the others ended up in the trash. Today, I decided to give it one more shot. It looked so easy on YouTube! I watched 10+ hours of videos, bought a couple more “tools” for my venture, and went to work.


Bottom line: I didn’t enjoy making these cups. It was ok, I guess. Not my favorite. I don’t know exactly when I knew this. I didn’t admit it to myself until today. Making these looked like fun, and seemed easy in the how-to videos. It was not fun for me, not even a little. I kept at it out of stubbornness. In the midst of my failed attempts, I had a glitter experience that could be featured on a comedy show (or horror picture!) It involved a box fan and a pile of spilled glitter. Friend, that’s as far as I’ll go with reliving it. Imagine what you may. It was awful and hilarious at the same time. I will be picking up pink, purple, and silver glitter for at least a year. Can anyone relate? Am I the only one that has faced off with this stuff and lost?


Back to being happy about failing. Soon, I’ll head to the trash can with a bag filled with a messy, drippy, epoxy, and sticker laden cup.


I tried to salvage some of the epoxy by making another item – which didn’t work out either. Yay, I say. Hurrah! I am done with epoxy. For now . . . Who knows what the future holds. It will not involve glitter, though. That, I am sure of.


I am happy because I have released myself from making something I did not enjoy. I returned two of the new items I purchased, and used the credit to purchase a dress form that I love and will use. I just noticed, it has a sprinkle of pink glitter on it. Ugh. I just brought it into the house. How could that happen?

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What are you releasing?


It’s ok to let go of crafty things that don’t bring us joy. Sometimes a hobby no longer suits us. We may feel guilt over spending money on supplies. Or an obligation because we “said” we would do it. That’s how I felt. I laugh now, looking back at how forced this craft felt. Sitting in my rocking chair on the front porch, I am giggling about the glitter I see sparkling on my shoe. It’s time for a glass of sweet tea, and, when that’s finished, I’ll bag up my mess and deposit it in the trash bin.


Of course, I prayed about how I felt - and when I opened my Bible, I read Psalm 131 1-2 (NKJV): Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters. Nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.


I am at peace. Calm, quiet and happy!


As always, please comment below and let me know what you think. You can also reach me by email – contact@tammyarlene.com if you need prayer or want to talk.


Blessings,

Tammy

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